To have loving relationships in life is important because God is love. For me, it has been tough having a loving and healthy relationship with my Step-Dad. I remember the times that I would argue with him and fight with him. Most of the time I would think that he did not really love me and my twin sister the way he would with my other siblings.
Whenever I did something wrong that would make him angry at me he would just talk to me in a mean tone of voice, and just ignore me for days or weeks.
And during those times that he would ignore me I would feel like it was my fault that he did not love me anymore like a daughter. My relationship with him has been complicated that it was like a vicious cycle were he would talk to me and then he would not, then back and forth always; it never changes.
I know he wants what is best for me and sometimes tries his best to be a great Step-Father to me and my twin sister but like in a saying: “no family is perfect, every family is dysfunctional in many ways.” I used to think that there was such a thing as perfect families where there is no problem with each other. It is normal to have an imperfect dysfunctional family, it has taken me so long to accept my Step-Dad that I am still struggling with having a healthy relationship with him.
I ask myself often, how can I have a healthy relationship with him? What can I start doing to have the same loving relationship that I have with my Mom?
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My Own Opinion on Relationship Cheating
I have not experienced cheating before because I have not been in a relationship yet, I hope I do not have to experience this situation in my own life because eventhough I have not experienced it, I at least have seen other people suffer in a relationship because either the wife or husband cheated to the other person. It is not something that I like to see happen to other people, and less if that ever happened to my parents.
I decided to share with you my own personal opinion about this deep emotional topic and share some advice and helpful information that you can refer to back if you or someone else you know is going through this type of problem, it is important to seek help from a marriage counselor.
1. Dishonest, Talk it Over
Cheating in a relationship can affect both people in a negative way especially if one of them has been dishonest throughout the whole relationship. Words hurt even more as well as the actions.
Advice: It is important to say the truth and that both people in a relationship are able to confide in each other in a positive way. If two people in a relationship do not have that type of communication and just keep on lying, or keeping things away from each other than the relationship is not going to work.
- For starters, instead of arguing and fighting, why not try to take a few deep breaths, calm yourself and your partner, and talk the problem over in an appropriate way. Find out together what is it that is making your relationship worse, usually when you and your partner talk over your feelings and problems, it can be helpful in finding ways to solve the problem, and will maybe help your relationship grow.
Statistics on Cheating in Relationships
These statistics on infidelity taken from: Statistic Brain.com explain the percentage of infidelity problems that have affected couples.
- 41% of relationships were both couples have admitted to cheating in the relationship, either physical or emotional.
- 57% of men who have admitted to cheating in a relationship they have had.
- 54% of women who have admitted to cheating in a relationship they have had.
These following statistics show that the percentage for men who have cheated is high compared to women, who is fifty-four percent.
- 74% of men who say they would have an affair with someone if they would never get caught.
- 68% of women who say they would have an affair with someone if they would never get caught.
The same result is happening for men, showing their percentage to be higher than the percentage in women. This clearly shows that men are more likely to cheat someone in a relationship. I think that men are rebels when it comes to relationships, it is like they like to break relationship rules that bound couples together. On the other hand, women are more likely to be honest in a relationship and respect that person in their relationship.
2. It is True Love
I am not talking here in this section about true love in fairy tales, but in real life when a couple speak to each other like old friends then it is clear to see that the relationship they have is true love and nothing else.
- If one of the people in a relationship does not truly have feelings for that other person then I believe it is just easier to admit the truth to that person. It is better for you to tell the truth instead of hurting that person in a negative way.
3. Loose Trust
Cheating also makes the other person in the relationship loose the trust that person had with you. Loosing trust from that significant other is not a good thing to go through because that person will not want to believe you anymore because they will never want to know if you truly learned your lesson, or not.
Advice: If you feel that you are cheating on someone and want to fix the problem before it gets worse, then I would suggest to seek help from a marriage counselor.
4. It Affects Kids also
Yes, cheating involving a married couple with kids can significantly affect the kids as well. What happens in the family, affects the entire family as well. When a situation like this affects children in an emotional way it can be difficult to explain to them about a subject that is so confusing for them to understand. When parents do not take the time to talk to their kids about your relationship problem, it can make the kid feel like they are ignored.
Do not keep your kids out of the problem, what I am trying to say is do not hide this problem away from them because they might be young, but they are able to recognize when something in the family is not going right as it should be. Kids are part of the family also and they have a right to know also what is going on in the family. When explaining to them, talk to them about the problem in words they can understand, Let them help you in finding a solution to the relationship problem. Who knows maybe solving the problem together will help you as a family grow closer than ever in a positive way.
I do not have much knowledge on this deep emotional subject, but I at least know that it is just best in a relationship to be honest and just say the truth to that other significant person. If you do not truly love that person then why hurt that person by cheating?
The best and harmless way is to just tell that person how you feel, then that person will understand and no harm will be done.